Thursday, January 10, 2008

Troll Rant...sort of

A Funny Thing About Trolls

Tell me, please, how thin is thin enough? Will your hatred be tempered by an acceptable BMI or do you require that I stand perfectly still while you run an imaginary tape measure around my hips, thighs and upper arms all the while tut-tutting about my jiggly body?

I have gone back into my archives and changed the title of a post from eight months ago. There are people who actually type "I H*te F*t People" into search engines and find my post with that same title. I know that is how they find the post because they tell me that they enter a search with that phrase "just for fun." Just for fun?! These "fun" people then proceed to comment at that particular post oblivious to the fact that it is an old post and no one will see their comment except for me. I finally decided to just change the name of the post so it no longer shows up in searches for that particular "fun" phrase.

But some Trolls find their way here and have come to stay. I spend more time than I'd like to admit deleting vicious, spiteful, hostile, threatening, virulent, punishing mounds of linguistic filth directed at anyone who dares to say that it might be ok to laugh and eat in public or just freaking enjoy their life, regardless of weight. No! You mustn't stop trying! If you stop trying to attain the "right" body shape (marry the "right" mate, get the "right" job, own the "right" house, drive the "right" car) then you are a loser and losers are a drain on society.

No matter that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and that increasing the amount of shame and stigma a person feels only succeeds in increasing the amount of shame and stigma a person feels. So obviously you don't hate me for my own good because your methods are ineffective. There must be more to it.

The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. There is a thin line between love and hate and let's be honest -- you don't spend your time writing despicable diatribes to people about whom you don't care, so I have come to the conclusion that clearly you are in love with me. Why else all the letters filled with passion? You are consumed with your desire for my attention. I keep ignoring your pleas for consideration and yet you keep begging me to notice you.

And so I have decided to take pity on you and glance in your direction. I shall give you the attention you so desperately crave. While I am loathe to see any similarities in myself and the person who wrote, "all of you deluded fatties should turn off the tv, leave the trough and get some exercise. You people disgust me." Truthfully I must admit to you that I have had those very same thoughts in my own mind when looking in a mirror. I have been on the self-loathing recovery plan for a number of years now and I can tell you that I look at my reflection with approval these days (mostly) and delight (more and more) but -- there's the rub. I get where these people are coming from. It is obvious to me that you hate yourself and you feel you must attack those who choose to not hate themselves.

I wouldn't spend a moment being concerned about whether someone liked me unless that person is someone I respected in some way. I am completely unconcerned about the Trolls leaving comments here but, I am interested in why they do it. I think all people want to connect with other people and to be seen. Anyone who spends time searching the internet to find someone to hate, anyone who takes their time to write a rant about how horrible a person is -- must feel that way either about themselves or perhaps their fat mom/dad/science teacher who didn't give them enough attention/enough encouragement/enough recognition and they want their pain to be acknowledged.

So here it is -- Awwwwww, you poor poor baby.

I end this by saying that this is a place where we can discuss ways to be kinder and gentler with ourselves and with each other. That is my intention when I sit down to write. I leave the political observations about sizeism, jumbled scientific findings, and popular culture to those whom I consider to be more eloquent and (truthfully) more interested in those subjects.

I may not have found a way to forgive, forget, or overlook every person who happens to jangle my nerves and push my buttons but I do strive to see the humanity in the hater.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

FAT PIGGY IN DENIAL!
HAS NO SELF CONTROL!
FILL YOURSELF WITH PIZZA!
NOW YOU'RE ON A ROLL!

Anonymous said...

Troll, Troll, go away!
We don't give two sh*ts what you have to say.
Take your venom and take your hate,
go sit in the corner of your mother's basement and masturbate.

Anonymous said...

Well done. I'm not good with trolls. I realized, recently, that it's because some part of my brain is so obsessed with why words are acting this way: I don't envision the sad sack on the other side whose opinion wouldn't fuss me in the real world. Real world jackasses are just that, jackasses.
Generally, if you stay out of the O'Reilly/Coulter side of things, commercially printed words at least have some logic and less vitriol. So trolls seem like people whose thesis I'm just not understanding.

The thesis is of course as simple as you say: "I'm a lonely loser and I need someone to 'best'".

And Troll 1?

You don't have the authority to pronounce on someone's self control.

You're a deranged tantruming child with a schoolyard taunt.

However, I'm sure in another 6 years, when you're eligible to vote, you'll have grown up a little.

Nudiemuse said...

It's probably a sign that there's something wrong with me but I tend to find trolls especially like this one here- very amusing.

I get this mental image of some poor jackass frothing at the mouth trying to come up with...

OMG UR FAT

Really try harder.

Anonymous said...

"...losers are a drain on society."

You know who else is a drain on society? People who try to prop up their own shaky self-esteem by throwing insults around. That's not just internet trolls, either. There are a lot of people like that.

lollydee said...

Very well said. It's hard to keep reminding yourself that you're worthy of loving yourself AS YOU ARE, but once you do it's like being let out of jail.

littlem said...

It would seem that Troll 1 hasn't exactly been burying himself in Shakespeare and Yeats in his off hours, has he?

IVENTBYBLOGGING said...

How sad at the level of immaturity the cowardly poster has.

This is a wonderfully affirming blog, and I thank you your dedication!

:)

Kathy said...

Too true, littlem... I would say that the imagery present in troll one's piece owes more to Rilke.

I always think of the presence of trolls as an indication that we're doing something right. Every time you make a statement that upholds the worth and dignity of human beings, you'll be met with rabid hatred on the way to making real changes.

Telle said...

Wow. I honestly thought that the first comment was a work of satire. If it isn't.. that's just incredibly sad. And really, someone with the maturity level of a kindergartener really shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised.

Glen said...

I don't even know what to say to this.

Rachel said...

I just had to delete a trollish comment to my post about my eating disorder relapse. The troll told me to get my fat*ss to a gym. Nice, eh?

I have zero tolerance for trolls and will use my ban button judiciously. Unfortunately, not providing a platform for them ameliorate the problem.

I often wonder if these same people would be so quick and apt to say such hurtful things in person as they are on the internet. It's not quite as emboldening when you're facing a fat woman swinging her chubby fist towards your big fat mouth.

Corinna Makris said...

Good Morning Everyone,

Thank you for your comments.

Sometimes I think that there is one person on the planet who calls themselves "anonymous" so that they can post many comments and pretend to be many different people. I know it's not that way, but it tickles me just the same.

And thank you to everyone participating in the conversation.

I was so amused by the first commenter taking the time to compose poetry in my honor that I decided to leave it there, inspired possibly by Rilke or perhaps Dr. Suess on LSD.

meegwun said...

It's not quite as emboldening when you're facing a fat woman swinging her chubby fist towards your big fat mouth.

YES. Thank you Rachel. That sums it all up for me. :)

Sarah said...

Anonymous Coward #1: Byron couldn't have said it more graciously.

I personally have mixed feelings on trolls. On the one hand, they are great fodder for ridicule. On the other hand, they are nasty SOBs taking up space that could have been used by somebody who is a credit to society.

jen said...

Hey, Corinna, glad to see you blogging again, even if it's to put the smackdown on 14-year-old boys with nothing to do.

I am not going to BlogHer 08, my new job (the one I was waiting to hear about when we met) requires lots of travel. I don't think I want to add in another voluntary trip this summer.

Would love to see you and my other blogging friends, though. Hope all is well.

Thanks for the post on "Look Good Naked." I haven't seen the show yet but I miss Carson from the Queer Eye days.

Slackermommy said...

Excellent post! I will never understand how people can be so hateful and still feel good about yourself. But like you wrote they don't feel good about themselves so they spread their poison. It's so true, misery loves company.

Fat Chick said...

I hear you. My blog is a fat acceptance blog of sorts - up until today, I've only blogged about "stuff," because my life is all about stuff. Even though it's titled "Musings of a Fat Chick," I never really talked about being fat. Until now.

I'm doing so because some of my readers have requested it, some have tagged my blog "weight loss" (why, I don't know), and I've gotten a lot of fat hating email. It's pretty pathetic, actually, how vicious people can be.

What I don't get is why does the word "fat" get such a reaction? I mean, my blog is about my travels, fun stuff in Chicago, etc etc. I have a great life, and so I write about it. I just don't understand why, for many people, all that is moot. Once they see the word "fat," nothing else matters. It really is bigotry of the worst sort.

Claudia said...

What a fantastic post...go glad that I found your site. Although, I do have to agree with the person who said they found trolls rather funny. True...it's more of a sad, pathetic funny rather than "ha ha" funny, but funny none the less.