Plus Size with Style - Enjoy What You Have

Have you ever tried on something in your size but it just didn’t look right? Even though it fits great it just doesn't feel like "it's you." I watch women go through it all the time in department store dressing rooms. She goes in with an armload of goodies and walks out with tears in her eyes. She then launches into a tirade of everything that is wrong with her body and if only she were some other size or shape then everything that she tried on would look just right. This can cause enough heartache that a woman resorts to buying something on impulse that doesn’t look great.

It is my opinion that finding your style has less to do with your body type, your hair color, or whether your skin tone is a Winter or a Summer and everything to do with how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror. So today let’s discuss how to find your very own style in terms of enjoying what you have.

Plus Size Style

The good news is that the best plus size fashion designers are now using plus size models. As plus size women are insisting on size positive images we are seeing more and more fashionable images of full figured women in media. At This Lush Life, in our plus size women's clothes department, we exclusively represent companies using plus size models. If they sell plus size women's clothes but they don't show those clothes on plus size models then we won't post what they have to offer.

There are many places on the web where you can read about the right hem lengths, the right necklines, how to coordinate patterns and colors and how to tie a scarf. Personally, I watch What Not to Wear on TLC with religious fervor. So rather than worry about what they are wearing on the runways this season -- in this article, let’s focus on what’s going on in your head.

Dressing Room Depression

You bought a dress in a department store. You loved it in the dressing room. It hugs your hips in the best way possible, shows the right amount of cleavage and drapes perfectly over your bottom. You were happy in the store because you found something that fit so well but why does it just not seem right the first time you put it on at home?

You bought a dress online. You did everything right. You measured yourself, you measured the dress, you saw it on a model with a similar shape as yours and it looked great on her. You try it on and it fits perfectly so why does it just not feel right when you put it on in your bedroom?

Curing the Dressing Room Blues

Remember that dressing rooms lie! Dressing rooms lie. They do. They are sneaky and they will lie to you. Some are perfectly lit and highlight your beautiful checkbones and make you forget that a v-neck is better for you than a boat neck. There really is such a thing as a slenderizing mirror and chances are they have one at the store but you don't have one at home.

The photographs in catalogs and magazines lie! Photographs lie. They do. Not only are those models surrounded by a team of people fussing with their makeup, hair and clothes between each and every shot but even the models don't really look like the photographs after all the re-touching.

So how do I enjoy what I have and feel good about Plus Size Style?

1. Create a place where royalty would want to dress. Choose a corner of your bedroom and make it a sacred place for self adoration. Use Feng Shui, toss a coin or throw a dart but you must have a spot that is just for you to gaze lovingly at your perfect body in a full length mirror.

2. Did she say full length mirror? Yes, she did say full length mirror! You know in your heart that I’m right so go out there and invest in a good one. After all, you are going to be spending a lot of time in front of it admiring your luscious curves so you want something beautiful to frame your image.

3. Take a deep breath. Take a shower. Do your hair. Get ready like you’ve got a date with George Clooney…or Ellen Degeneres…whomever you are into. Light candles. Have a glass of champagne and put some fresh strawberries and chocolates in a bowl within easy reach. Play a Diana Krall CD. Remember that you are a goddess.

4. Take good look. God did not make any mistakes with you. You are beautiful. Now - pull your shoulders back and say three nice things about what you see. I mean it. Three...but feel free to say more. I like my eyes. I like the shape of my shoulders. I like the curve from the small of my back down to my right hip. This is really important. I do this every day. Sometimes I love what I see in the mirror and sometimes I don't but I won't leave the house without saying at least three nice things about my body.

Presenting the Stylish Plus Size Woman

I guarantee that whatever you try on now will feel differently than it did before. Can you guess why? It’s because you will stand differently. You will hold your head up, pull your shoulders back and be ready to toss out anything from your closet that doesn’t flatter your perfect frame. You don’t have to settle for something you don’t really love just because it hides a body you don't love. And when you go out, even wearing something from the back of your closet, it might feel new and you might feel like the most stylish woman you know.

There is no reason to wait to like yourself more. Start today and then share this with a friend.

Emotional Eating

A few days ago there was a discussion about "Emotional Eating" over at Elastic Waist and I would like to continue that conversation here.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding something but it seems to me that this theory about the dangers of emotional eating states that if I eat something believing it will make me feel good that I am living a lie and it won't really make me feel good thereby causing stress, weight gain, eating disorders and a need for intense therapy.

I just don't believe that it is necessarily true.

I do not believe that food is evil or my enemy. People do all sorts of things to avoid confronting their emotions. We use food, alcohol, exercise, gardening, meditation and sex to not confront feeling something uncomfortable. My point is that perhaps it is ok to do that sometimes. Confront it when you are ready. Until then, if you want to mow the lawn, have a cocktail, run 3 miles, or have a piece of cheesecake well, why not have all of those things? Can't I just have a piece of cheesecake without it being a symptom of some deeper psychological dysfunction?

I know that if I eat in order to repress my emotions and then eat beyond fullness, then I might feel physically uncomfortable and I might feel emotionally sad. I might feel guilty if I eat to excess. I understand that if I am eating to the point where I am making myself sick then that is not a physically or mentally healthy choice.

And yet I think that eating because it makes me feel good is under-appreciated in terms of its sensual gratification. I am offended by the idea that right eating is "eat to live" and wrong eating is "live to eat." I am a foodie. Buying, stocking, preparing and eating food gives me a thrill like no other. I think that anything that releases endorphins is good for me.

Eating delicious food makes me happy. There are numerous scientific studies on the emotional responses to food aromas and flavors. Food nourishes in ways beyond those of nutrition.

So sometimes I eat beyond the point of feeling full. I specifically say "eating beyond feeling full" to avoid saying "eating too much" which is a negative judgment that suggests having done something wrong. I think that eating beyond feeling full is something that everyone does sometimes. To some extent we are all "emotional eaters" and eat in response to our emotions, or conversely we eat in order to illicit specific emotions.

I think that if I can see how good my life is, the way that it is, then I am less likely to be self-destructive. If I label my behavior in terms of right and wrong then there is a danger of getting trapped in a self-destructive loop of self-loathing. What I mean by this is: (1) I feel like a loser so I eat beyond feeling full in an attempt to narcotize myself and stuff my emotions, (2) I hate myself for doing something "wrong," (3) I eat more because I feel miserable about being such loser.

There was a time in my life when I felt like a loser and I felt that way pretty often. I would (see #1 above) and then I felt (see #2 above) and so I would (see #3 above). The only way out for me was to slow down, enjoy every bite, and like myself more. How I found a way to like myself more is another topic for another day.

Corinna Corinna: Where You Been So Long?

Hello my dearests!

I know how you have longed for a new post. It's been two months since I have written and I miss you as much as you miss me...you poor darlings. Sitting and staring at your computer screens hoping for an update. Well here I am!

I've been struggling with wanting to give you details about everything that I have done over the past eight weeks but since I have fallen behind in my posting it has become a daunting task. Just thinking about writing a post about an event that took place weeks ago causes me to break out in hives. All that calamine lotion is ruining my clothes so I ask you to please allow me to briefly fill you in on my fabulous life so we can get back to dishing about celebrities on diets, where the fun parties are happening, and of course, what to wear!

NAAFA Convention: July 10-15, 2007
The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance offers a week long opportunity to spend time with people who have been working for over 35 years fighting size-related discrimination and bias at every opportunity.

I love the NAAFA Con and I highly recommend attending. The speakers are extraordinary as are the people attending. With NAAFA, fat people can raise their self-esteem and feel more deserving of being treated well.

I quote from their website, "Founded in 1969, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support."

This is a not-to-be-missed experience.

BlogHer convention: July 27-29, 2007
The BlogHer convention was amazing. I met fun fabulous creative women from all over the country and many from other countries. They are astonishingly open, they are brilliant writers, they are hilarious, and they party like it's 1999. Visit BlogHer, and read some great blogs like IzzyMom, Slacker-Moms-R-Us, those groovy gals at Elastic Waist, Poundy and everyone I linked to in my Scrapblog.

Very big thanks to the very cool Kristen and Liz of Cool Mom Picks. While I appreciate everyone during the BlogHer conference being tolerant of my temporary Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as I ran around aggressively snapping pictures of Food Bloggers eating, and Bloggers wearing my size shoe and mommies breast feeding (yes...yes I did take a picture). BUT what I appreciate even more is that Cool Mom Picks chose me as the ultimate winner of the Photo Scavenger Hunt!!! This means that I won the fantastic leather bag from Riān Handbags that has made me the envy of every woman who sees me walking jauntily down the street with this luscious buttery leather beauty on my shoulder. Mwuahhh ha ha!!! Jauntily I say!!! Just watch me jaunt.

The BBW Network Vegas Bash: August 7-13, 2007
The Bash, as usual, was a very fun and inspiring week. I am grateful to Joann and Darwin for putting on an amazing event. For more information about the BBW Bash please visit their website at BBW Network. The week is filled with pool parties, dance parties, room parties, lobby parties and vendor parties.

This was the first year that I set up a table in the vendor fair and I was met with a very warm response. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to say hello and to shop! I am so happy that the silver rings with semi-precious stones that I brought in larger sizes were appreciated by so many woman who had always wanted fashionable rings but could not find them in their size. I am working on expanding my selection and I hope to have more beautiful rings in sizes 7-12 soon!

I am thrilled about the enthusiastic response to the Bootyfull Lady™ line of t-shirts designed by my friend Stephanie. If you got a t-shirt we would love to hear about any comments that you have received while wearing it and if you send in a picture of yourself in a Bootyfull Lady™ t-shirt I will post it here. Please make sure to let me know your name or internet handle, whichever you prefer.

Where I'll Be Next
Let's get together at the Halloween Boo Bash in Chicago! Linda's Big Connections. Steph and I will be there with more Bootyfull Lady™ t-shirts, silver jewelry with semi-precious stones, generously sized silk and cashmere shawls and other items with which you will want to adorn yourselves.

So what did you do over your summer vacation?
Please let me and everyone who stops by long enough to read the comments hear about all the fun you've been having.

BlogHer 2007 in Pictures

I had absolutely the most amazing time at the BlogHer 2007 Conference. It was inspiring, educational and really really fun.

I will share with you specifics about the sessions over the next couple of weeks but tonight I must go to sleep early as tomorrow I leave my house at 5:00 a.m. for the airport and the 11th Annual BBW Network Las Vegas Bash!

It's another great party and I am very excited about being there and seeing all my friends and making new ones.

One thing I want to share about BlogHer 07 that just can't wait is that I got all wrapped in this fun contest that the mommy masterminds behind Cool Mom Picks created. A BlogHer 07 Photo Scavenger Hunt!

I had a great time with this. It gave me a reason to meet so many more people than I
would have. If not for the scavenger hunt (and my slightly competitive nature) I probably would have only hung out with those bloggers whose names I was familiar with who write about similar subjects as I do here on this blog. But because of the game I talked to everybody and met website marketers, tech gurus, mommmies and more mommies, and crafters.

Check out my entry to the contest here:


And while you're at it try your hand at making a Scrapblog yourself. A little tip from me ... save often. I learned the hard way.

That's it for tonight. Wish me luck at the Craps Table.