Size 14 = Size Anxiety

Today I gave a friend a dress that I never wore. I bought it on EBay and it turned out to be a Junior Size 14 and not a Woman's Size 14. Oh well. If I had bought it directly through a store like I should have, instead of being cheap about my wardrobe then I wouldn't have gotten conned so I have only myself to blame for this phony dress. Well, it's not a phony dress, it's a real dress...just not my size.

So this dress was just folded on a shelf in my closet with the original tags on it and I thought that I should just give it to someone who would enjoy wearing it and so I did and she tried it on immediately and it was like it was made for her it because it really fit perfectly. It's black velvet and it's beautiful. And everyone in the office was oohing and aahing and all she could say was, "Oh my God I'm not a size 14!" And I said...who cares you're just going to rip the tag off anyway. Tell people it's a size 8 and forget it. But no...she was close to tears because the tag had a number 14 on it.

Yes she did thank me and yes she does love it and yes she is going to wear it but I have to say that I was just horrified by her reaction to that tag.

Mom, am I pretty?

Where does self-esteem come from and how do you get more? Can you feel better about yourself by thinking happy thoughts and is your low self-esteem your mother's fault?

Recently, Alison Lee posted a comment here saying " Good post! Women suffer from low self esteem due to how they look." Alison then went on to suggest that you, dear reader, visit her blog via the link so handily provided, where you will learn self-esteem by saying some of her affirmations and watching the movie The Secret.

While I appreciate anyone reading my blog and taking the time to comment and I am always happy to have the movie The Secret mentioned, I must say that I disagree with Alison's take on my post and it seems to me that she missed the point.

Perhaps it doesn't really matter if she understands what I am talking about here as it seems that she was just looking for a place to post a link back to her blog but I don't believe, as she said, that women suffer from low self esteem due to how they look. I believe that women are suffering with low self-esteem and poor body image issues because they are being brainwashed by the fashion and diet industries to believe that there is something wrong with the way that they look.

Women are the targets in a consumer driven war and self doubt is the weapon of choice. We are attacked every time we see a billboard, turn on the television, listen to the radio and go to the mall. Why must I be constantly told that I am the "before" picture every time I want to buy a shirt? It's because they want you to stop at the drug store and buy a protein shake for lunch and metabolism pills for dinner.

And about those "before" pictures...have you noticed that those women are getting thinner? Does it really make sense to brag that you used to be a size 10 and now you are a size 4? Does anyone else see that this is insanity? Remember, Marilyn Monroe weighed about 150 lbs and wore a size 14.

This is why I so strongly applaud Dove and their two current size positive and age positive campaigns -- yes, they are marketing their products but they are using real women in all their ads. The ads for The Campaign for Real Beauty and their line of Pro-Age products are using women of various heights, weights and skin color. These women have wide hips, round bellies, big smiles and all are beautiful. In the Pro Age ads they are using women over 50 with white hair, and they are naked! Without digital enhancement Dove is Celebrating every Curve.

Perfection is the inclusion of things, all experiences, all events in your life. Not the exclusion of those things of which you don't approve. Look at yourself in the mirror and praise everything you see that you can find approval for and do it for at least 10 minutes. Even if you are saying the same things over and over.

One day, not too long ago, I was feeling very unhappy about my physical appearance so I decided that to change the way I looked I would change the way I thought about myself. I stood in the mirror, looking myself in the eye and saying out loud what I thought was attractive. When I started I could only get as far as my eyebrows and my lips but I repeated "I like my eyebrows, I like the shape of my mouth, I like the outline of my lips," a few times and then I noticed that my hair looked great so I added "I like my hair." Then I noticed that my shoulders have a very appealing curve so I added "I like my shoulders." I had to move to the full-length mirror because there was so much that was great about me. I loved myself so much after 10 minutes that it was hard to leave the mirror.

So to answer my own questions from the first paragraph I would say that self-esteem comes from yourself and you have a limitless supply of more, thinking happy thoughts will absolutely make you feel happy and while it might be your mother's fault she really did do her best and she has issues of her own so give the gal some credit.

Letter sent to Eve Ensler / Vagina Monologues

I sent this e-mail today:

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Dear V-Day,

I operate a blog where I write about women and body image. It is called A Celebration of Curves (www.acelebrationofcurves.com). Every day I hear from women regarding their self image.

I am writing you today to tell you about a blogger who sent me a note telling me about a game her teenage daughter is playing in her high school. They call it the Vagina Movie game. You take a movie title and replace a key word in the title with the word vagina, for instance: The Day the Vagina Stood Still, or Dog Day Vagina or Teenage Mutant Ninja Vaginas.

I am thrilled about this! The fact that the word vagina is being used in high schools, by boys and girls, in such a casual way...as if they were saying elbow, makes me very happy indeed. If teenage girls can talk about their bodies with such casual humor than perhaps they can also be comfortable discussing more serious matters regarding their bodies such as their self-image and sex.

Please visit Dr. Sharna

Thank you for everything you do to make the world a better place for my vagina.

Sincerely,
Corinna Makris
www.ACelebrationofCurves.com

maunderings from dissertation hell: Celebrating Curves

Hey everybody! I got my first fan mail! Woo hooo I am sooo excited. Not only because I got a shout out from another blogger but mostly because my ranting about plus size women Celebrating our Curves gave a curvy girl a self-esteem boost and that's what this is all about.

I very much enjoy reading Maunderings blog about her life written with an hilarious self-mocking tone. She also sells homemade soaps on Ebay - Dr. Sharna's Natural Soaps.

I felt much less afraid of her proclamations of love after realizing that she makes homemade soaps. After all, why would I be afraid of someone who lives on a remote Texas farm, sees very few people, writes a blog making reference to being from hell, spending her quiet days making soap....oh. Suddenly it sounds like a scene from Misery. hmmmm......

So Dr. Sharna is good for your funny bone, good for your skin and good for the environment! Send her some love people, I think she's loony...um I mean lonely.

Check it out.
maunderings from dissertation hell: Celebrating Curves

I Celebrate My Every Curve

I Celebrate My Every Curve

This happened to me the other night
A guy in a bar wanted to fight
He gave me a look as if to say
That seeing me had ruined his day
That he would rather kiss a toad
Or lick the asphalt off the road
Than sit at the bar knee to knee
With a girl as fat as me.

He said that I would look so pretty
If only I were itty bitty
And did I not realize the fact
That even though I am truly stacked
No man would ever really want me
Because fat girls just aren't as sexy
As those other women with no hips
Whose flat bellies make him lick his lips.

I suppose I could have made a scene
Maybe kick his leg and say things mean
But then I thought that instead of spite
I'd consider his personal plight
A man might feel betrayed or hurt
Shocked by his own desire to flirt
With a buxom curvy beauty
Instead of a slender narrow cutie.

Bombarded on a daily basis
With images of smooth young faces
Certain the only shape he'd feel
Has rock hard abs and buns of steel
Although he might long for a bride
With cleavage deep and backside wide
Coping with ridicule and abuse
A single man might get the blues.

Every magazine he's read
Tells him to get me into bed
By finding some sort of common ground
And surely no woman wants to be round
So he thought he'd strike up a chat
About how terrible it is to be fat
And while his pickup line was lame
I refuse to walk the path of shame.

I've got no interest in diet fads
I change the channel on workout ads
I'd rather have delicious lunches
Than execute one hundred crunches
Country walks and chats by the fire
Glasses of wine with friends who inspire
I'll never agree to do without
Being hungry makes me pout.

I told him that he would be surprised
By the softness of my thighs
And yes I jiggle when I wiggle
My body shakes with every giggle
And when I sit around the house
I know you're looking down my blouse
So even though you've got some nerve
I celebrate my every curve.


Corinna Makris
February 5, 2007